Let’s review where we have been so far in our small group management skills.  #1.  Arrange the chairs in your room to correspond to the number of women showing up.  #2.  There has to be a group discussion leader and today is #3.  The leader has to act like the leader!

If you are having a difficult time with a particular person and you are the leaader,  you need to deal with it!  Don’t let any one woman run over you and everyone else.  Now…you can do this with great kindness and compassion.  It does not have to be a nasty discourse.  You can do it privately – the whole group probably does not need to hear your conversation with her.  When we get to tip #9 – I will have more to say about this. You will find that there are so many blessings that come from dealing with the difficult person.  First blessing:  the other women in the group will start telling you privately how glad and relieved you are that someone did something.  Second blessing:  the word will get around and some people who have been avoiding class because of this woman may feel comfortable enough to come back.  Third blessing:  the discussion will go so much better when other women are finally getting to say something.  Yea! 

Think about it that way – your group has appointed you as leader of the discussion.  Being the leader has privileges but it also has responsibilites.  One of the responsibilites is helping everyone feel comfortable in the group and making sure everyone gets to participate.  It’s your job – you can do it! 

If you have ever attended a Ladies Bible class you have probably met her – the woman that talks too much – the one that totally dominates the discussion.  She can be really frustrating.  It’s hard to get a word in edgewise and sometimes if you disagree with her – sparks will fly!  How does a group deal with this type of woman?  Last week, I started giving 10 tips to help a small group manage a too-talkative woman.

Today is Tip #2:  There has to be a designated group discussion leader.

Now, don’t confuse the group leader with a teacher.  The group discussion leader is not typically the teacher – she leads the discussion.  She monitors who is speaking and who is not.  She keeps track of the time.  She does not have to have the answers – she is there to keep the discussion on track.  (We will talk more about this in a later post…keeping the discussion on track.  This is a whole other area that has to be addressed to have a successful Ladies Bible class.) Many people do not feel comfortable being the teacher, but almost everyone with some training and confidence can fill the role of group leader.        

In my experience, groups without a designated leader always struggle.  Someone has to be in charge of the discussion.  Now, you can rotate this duty if you want, but the rotation should not be weekly.  I am more for quarterly….at least 12 weeks at a time.  A few reasons?  It takes a while to establish the leader and for the women in the room to look to the leader for the direction of the discussion. If you are changing leaders every week that is just about the same as having no leader because no one ever gets the chance to establish her leadership and that she expects the women in the discussion to follow her.  Also, it takes time to work with the woman who is talking too much and if you are changing weekly or even monthly, no one ever gets enough consecutive time in the leadership role to help rein that person in.

Start looking around your group right now and encourage someone to step up and be the group discussion leader – you will be glad you did.

Here we go:
Strategy #1:
Arrange the chairs in the room to correspond to the number of participants.

This is such a simple strategy that many people won’t even try it. There is something that changes in a room when everyone can see the body language of the other people in the discussion. If you are meeting in an auditorium or a room with lots of chairs and people are far apart, you need to modify. Everyone that is part of the discussion needs to be able to see everyone else’s eyes. You see, most people who talk too much realize their fault to some extent. They aren’t always able to control it but they do know they have it. These women especially need the visual clues that other people want to speak. I particularly like some sort of circle. I want to see everyone at once and I want everyone in the discussion to be able to see each other. If you have 15 chairs set up and only 6 people show up for class, before you even start the discussion, remove about half the chairs. If people show up late you can add more chairs. (Adding the chairs back is psychologically exciting…everyone is thinking…. “This is a great class, more and more women want to come, and we are adding chairs every week!) When the women in your group can feel each other and see each other it changes the way they participate in the discussion. Give it a try!