Light My Path Ministries

Tip #3

Karla Taylor — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 14:29:12 +0000

Let’s review where we have been so far in our small group management skills. #1. Arrange the chairs in your room to correspond to the number of women showing up. #2. There has to be a group discussion leader and today is #3. The leader has to act like the leader!

If you are having a difficult time with a particular person and you are the leaader, you need to deal with it! Don’t let any one woman run over you and everyone else. Now…you can do this with great kindness and compassion. It does not have to be a nasty discourse. You can do it privately – the whole group probably does not need to hear your conversation with her. When we get to tip #9 – I will have more to say about this. You will find that there are so many blessings that come from dealing with the difficult person. First blessing: the other women in the group will start telling you privately how glad and relieved you are that someone did something. Second blessing: the word will get around and some people who have been avoiding class because of this woman may feel comfortable enough to come back. Third blessing: the discussion will go so much better when other women are finally getting to say something. Yea!

Think about it that way – your group has appointed you as leader of the discussion. Being the leader has privileges but it also has responsibilites. One of the responsibilites is helping everyone feel comfortable in the group and making sure everyone gets to participate. It’s your job – you can do it!

We All Know One

Karla Taylor — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 04:16:32 +0000

If you have ever attended a Ladies Bible class you have probably met her – the woman that talks too much – the one that totally dominates the discussion. She can be really frustrating. It’s hard to get a word in edgewise and sometimes if you disagree with her – sparks will fly! How does a group deal with this type of woman? Last week, I started giving 10 tips to help a small group manage a too-talkative woman.

Today is Tip #2: There has to be a designated group discussion leader.

Now, don’t confuse the group leader with a teacher. The group discussion leader is not typically the teacher – she leads the discussion. She monitors who is speaking and who is not. She keeps track of the time. She does not have to have the answers – she is there to keep the discussion on track. (We will talk more about this in a later post…keeping the discussion on track. This is a whole other area that has to be addressed to have a successful Ladies Bible class.) Many people do not feel comfortable being the teacher, but almost everyone with some training and confidence can fill the role of group leader.

In my experience, groups without a designated leader always struggle. Someone has to be in charge of the discussion. Now, you can rotate this duty if you want, but the rotation should not be weekly. I am more for quarterly….at least 12 weeks at a time. A few reasons? It takes a while to establish the leader and for the women in the room to look to the leader for the direction of the discussion. If you are changing leaders every week that is just about the same as having no leader because no one ever gets the chance to establish her leadership and that she expects the women in the discussion to follow her. Also, it takes time to work with the woman who is talking too much and if you are changing weekly or even monthly, no one ever gets enough consecutive time in the leadership role to help rein that person in.

Start looking around your group right now and encourage someone to step up and be the group discussion leader – you will be glad you did.

It’s That Time Again!

Karla Taylor — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 00:15:41 +0000

All over America, it’s that time again. The weather is getting cooler, we are getting back on a schedule, closets are being cleaned out, new supplies are appearing in backpacks, children are heading off to school and Ladies Bible class is starting up. Yea! I love a good Ladies Bible class. There is just something about getting together with other women of faith and sharing our life struggles and triumphs that exhilarates me! I really like that times that I have been involved with a Ladies Bible class group that is multi-generational…there is so much to learn from people that are a different age and in a different stage of life than you. Going on thirty years as a preacher’s wife – I have been to a lot of Ladies Bible classes. Some of them have been great – I could hardly wait to get there. Some of them have been miserable – I could hardly wait to get OUT of there!! I have learned a few things along the way. One of the hardest things to deal with in a Ladies Bible class setting is the woman who talks too much. She dominates every discussion and always has an opinion…about everything! I have seen many a potentially good Ladies Bible class ruined by this type of woman. Over the next several weeks I would like to share with you 10 strategies for dealing with this situation. 10 strategies that will help this woman feel a part of the group but also let someone else speak. 10 strategies that I think will increase your attendance at Ladies Bible class.

Here we go:
Strategy #1:
Arrange the chairs in the room to correspond to the number of participants.

This is such a simple strategy that many people won’t even try it. There is something that changes in a room when everyone can see the body language of the other people in the discussion. If you are meeting in an auditorium or a room with lots of chairs and people are far apart, you need to modify. Everyone that is part of the discussion needs to be able to see everyone else’s eyes. You see, most people who talk too much realize their fault to some extent. They aren’t always able to control it but they do know they have it. These women especially need the visual clues that other people want to speak. I particularly like some sort of circle. I want to see everyone at once and I want everyone in the discussion to be able to see each other. If you have 15 chairs set up and only 6 people show up for class, before you even start the discussion, remove about half the chairs. If people show up late you can add more chairs. (Adding the chairs back is psychologically exciting…everyone is thinking…. “This is a great class, more and more women want to come, and we are adding chairs every week!) When the women in your group can feel each other and see each other it changes the way they participate in the discussion. Give it a try!

cbarker — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 22:08:28 +0000

Lessons From the Garden #4

cbarker — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 21:57:10 +0000

Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. -John 15:2

I read somewhere that the best fertilizer is the shadow of the gardener so I took that as a challenge to make this the summer that my garden would survive the heat and drought. I know that hoeing, watering and feeding are essential gardening tasks, but pruning is a task I had never practiced because I never understood the benefits of it. When a plant appears to be vibrantly flourishing how can snipping back that healthy growth strengthen and maximize its ability to endure the stress of a long hot summer and equip it to continue contributing to the beauty of the garden? After deciding to put pruning to the test, I glanced around my garden and found the overachievers who were encroaching on the territory of the less ambitious. Not only did pruning help those plants become more compact, less intrusive and more drought tolerant but it also helped me find weeds hiding underneath that healthy growth, weeds that I wouldn’t be able to see until they endangered the plant sheltering them. It was the discovery of the hiding weeds that made me think more about the importance of pruning. Are there “weeds” hiding under what appears to be healthy growth in my spiritual life? Do I need to inspect the areas of my life that I think are spiritually healthy and will I discover that there are underlying threats camouflaged by superficial healthiness? If I objectively examine the activities that I believe bring glory to God and His kingdom, will I find that I am harboring behaviors that will eventually rob HIM of glory, honor and praise? Could trimming back seemingly healthy growth lead to greater strength, healthiness and beauty not only for my garden, but for my spiritual life too?

cbarker — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 03:35:37 +0000

Lessons from the Garden #3

cbarker — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 03:32:35 +0000

Winter can be both delightful and brutal. Watching the snow fall, blanketing the drabness of winter, is so beautiful. It muffles all the noises, quieting creation and bringing a peace that calms the soul. I love the snow and cold of winter because it refreshes me after several months of hot, dry weather. Texas has had a record winter this year with snow and ice wreaking havoc on travelers, trees, power lines, and pedestrians. This year Texas’ wintery weather broke temperature records, snow and ice accumulation records, as well as the record for the number of school days cancelled. There still remain tell-tale signs of ice a week past the storm.
The plants in the garden suffered miserably during the past week. We tried but we couldn’t provide them with enough protection from the freezing temperatures. It was impossible to move them to shelter where their limbs would not be exposed. Spring will only tell if the fig and limon tree, having lived through all those days of freezing temperatures, will be able to bear fruit this coming summer. Hopefully they will again sprout leaves but it might take severe pruning which will change their shape and appearance and stunt their fruit bearing ability.
So as I’m lamenting how those two trees will be forever changed by this year’s harsh winter I realize that every weed in the yard survived – they are all green! It’s as if they are laughing at me saying “We Survived!!!!”. What do those weeds give me; nothing but a blight on my landscape, hard work and sore knees. Those pesky plants survived, but the fig tree and the limon tree have been waylaid with frostbite. Both trees generously produce fruit, yielding enough for the bees, the birds, the opossum, the ants, our 2 fig loving dogs, and plenty to spare for canning and sharing with others. Their roots are much bigger, longer, and reach deeper into the earth than those shallow rooted weeds. So I ask, Why? Why did plants that are beautiful and productive suffer and those that create problems for me survived?
The Garden once again brings me back to thinking about God’s plan for man. I am reminded of the times when life has dealt me blows, changing me and at times making me spiritually barren for a while. There are times in life of suffering and disappointment and stunted growth. There are times when I wonder why these bad things happen to me while those around me seem to be unscathed by life. Scripture refreshes my memory and I recall that if the roots of our souls are deeply entwined with God he sustains us through those times. We might not come through trials looking, acting, or feeling the same and we might not be able to bear fruit for a while but we are afforded survival by the strength given us in our relationship with God through His Son. During the harsh winters of my life, my survival depends on fixating on God, his strength, his protection and his comfort. I can’t be sideswiped by asking why others are flourishing when I’m not. My energy must be directed to the struggle of standing firm in faith.
As spring approaches the limon and fig tree will be pruned and given extra care. They might not be able to bear their usual yield of fruit for a while, but their strong roots will bring them back,… changed plants, but alive. Praise God for giving us a changed life through his Son; molded and shaped by life’s circumstances and fitted for HIS service.

cbarker — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 02:15:35 +0000

Lessons from the Garden #2

cbarker — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 02:10:56 +0000

This morning as I mailed some letters I stopped to look at the flower boxes on the side of my mailbox. Every year I plant moss rose in those boxes because they can withstand the summer’s oppressive heat and drought. From a distance those flower boxes looked pretty good. I was amazed that this late in the season they were still green and flowering…until I looked closer. What I thought looked healthy from afar was not what I found on closer inspection. Three different kinds of weeds had taken up residence among the moss rose; flourishing, green weeds with small blooms made the moss rose appear healthier, lush and more compact than they actually were. So as I started pulling those weeds I began to wonder, ‘is sin in my life deceptive like that’? Do I appear to be spiritually healthy because ‘weeds’ are providing a deceptive façade for me? Are there behaviors and works in my life that look good but do not bring glory to GOD and spread the knowledge of HIM? Is that what was happening to the Church in Sardis (Revelation 3:3:1-7)? Do the ‘weeds’ in my life provide the illusion of being spiritually alive when that’s not the case? What behaviors/actions/words do I need to get rid of that masquerade as spiritual but are not that at all. As I pulled those weeds from my flower boxes I prayed that God would open my eyes to see the weeds in my life that from afar appear to be spiritually sound but are actually hindering my obedience to HIS will.

God please forgive me for nurturing weeds in my life that inhibit me from giving YOU glory and spreading the fragrance of your SON. Open my eyes to discern the weeds from the VINE and help me “cultivate” my life so that YOU always receive glory from my behavior, actions, and words.

cbarker — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 20:59:39 +0000